What they don't know will help them!

My son has his final performance for Anchorage Jr. Youth Symphony this Friday. We are supposed to bring a dessert to share. I'm doing so well eating clean that I don't want to blow it by being tempted to eat all the sugar laiden sweets I know will be at the party after the performance. So, I turned to my handy Clean Eating magazine for the recipe for the yummy looking chocolate cupcakes that grace the cover of the latest edition. The May/June 2009 'sinful low-cal dessert' is chocolate sour cream cupcakes. Also in the May/June edition is a recipe for 'baby cakes' hidden gem cupcakes that have fruit centers. I'm going to make a batch of each kind tonight, just to make sure they don't taste like shoe leather. I want to provide a healthier alternative for myself and others at the party, but I don't want them to know they are eating something healthier!

Cleaning up my act

I've found the most wonderful magazine in the history of printed word. It's called Clean Eating. The magazine is less than a year old, but one I know from now on will occupy a special spot on my bookshelf, and my purse.

What is "clean eating," you may ask. Clean eating, as simple a concept as it is, is eating foods as close to their "natural" state as possible. No additives or preservatives, fruits, vegetables, low or no sugar, etc. It's about changing how one looks at food, and at eating. Tosca Reno does a much better job of explaining it at the eat clean website, so I'll let her. I've found wonderful healthy recipes, my kids actually EAT the food I cook, and I know I'm doing wonderful things for my body by putting good things into it instead of the garbage I've been shoving into my pie hole for so many years.

The other wonderful thing I've found about clean eating is that I don't feel like a failure. I'm not overwhelmed with the recipes, nor do I spend most of my time searching for ingredients that I not only can't find in my grocery store, but couldn't pronounce even if I could find them.

Today, for example, I started following the menu plan in the May/June Clean Eating magazine. I had tofu scramble for breakfast, fruit for a mid morning snack, mixed greens with tuna and vinagrette dressing for lunch with cantaloupe, some more tofu scramble for an afternoon snack (by the way, it's delicious... don't let the word "tofu" scare you), and for dinner I'm making the family penne, spaghetti sauce, steamed brocolli and mozarella cheese with Ezekiel bread (can be found in the grocery refrigerator section of the health section) with olive oil dip. I'm eating more than I ever have, and enjoying the smells, colors, tastes and experiences that I'm having in my kitchen.

I can see the clean eating style easily fitting into a Weight Watchers plan if I decided to return. Tosca Reno, the gal I mentioned earlier, has some great books out right now that I've picked up that contain recipes with the calorie, fat and fiber listings for each recipe by serving. The Clean Eating book she wrote is a great start if anyone is looking to find out more about the difference between clean eating and "dieting."

I'm looking forward to dinner... and to tomorrow! I've really enjoyed feeling like I'm producing good tasting, healthy meals for my family. I think my family is enjoying the new choices too... even if they have more dishes to do now!

In a few weeks, I'll post where I'm at in the weight loss curve. Until then, I'll just rave about how great I'm eating!

I couldn't think of a pithy title for this post, so I'm not going to give it one. The last post mentioned Weight Watchers. Well, that plan, like most others I have had, fell by the wayside (or should I say weight side).

I was talking to a friend this afternoon about how tempted I am to go on Alli just so I have some kind of mysery and punishment if I don't eat right.

I'm disappointed in myself. I think it's that cycle of self loathing and self punishment that most heavy people go through occassionally. I'm disappointed enough with myself that I know I need to change all these habits I've got, but not down on myself enough yet to change them.

I found a great new magazine that I love called Clean Eating, and I've tried the recipes and like them. I'm not going to say I'm going to follow it with all my heart right now. I'm fed up with making promises that I can't keep for myself, let alone making promises that anyone with a computer can read! So, I'll just say that whatever I do, I'll put it here. Being accountable to strangers is better than being
accountable to myself, I guess. What I really need is to have someone drag me off to be on the Biggest Loser. The last thing I want is to stay heaving wearing those two piece workout suits they weigh the female participants in. Lord, I'd be so embarrassed about how I'd look in one of those I'd lose all the weight BEFORE I got to the first taping of the first episode.

More later.

One, two... buckle my shoe

Started Weight Watcher's today. I think I've mentioned before that I'm a sucker for gold stars. We've got 14 weeks till we go to Hawaii. I know, at the weight I'm at now (250, in case you wanted to know), the tight plane seat would make for quite an uncomfortable ride. And, I don't feel like being embarrassed by having to ask for a seat belt extender in front of my children and new husband!

It's not like I haven't been on Weight Watcher's before. I've been on it more than a few times. They should give out plaques for those who "Try, try again." However, I haven't been on it with my new last name (kinda makes me feel like it's the first time), and the leader at my Wednesday meetings is new to Alaska and started as the leader last night too. So, we are both new, and are in this together.

I've made it to the gym a few times, but I'll be going more after we get back from Denali. I won Road Lottery tickets to drive into the park, and we'll be going all weekend. I have been hiking a lot though. It's blueberry season here, and the best places to pick just happen to be a 5 mile hike in to Symphony Lakes above Eagle River, AK, where I live. Blueberries are my favorite fruit, so I'd do anything to get the wild ones.

Hopefully, no DEFINITELY, by next summer, I'll be able to bend over to tie my shoe without having to crank my leg at an odd angle to do it on my lap! THAT would be a treat!

And, yes, I'm a little hungry, and a lot grumpy.

And, a WEIGH we go!

Went to the gym for the first time since I got the membership. I drug my son along, begrudgingly. He ran 4.5 miles, and I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself. I walked on the tread mill, no where near his speed. But, I enjoyed myself too.



My husband and I came up with a few "inspirational" motivators. 1). If I go the gym 3 days a week, he'll get me flowers every week. 2). If I go the the gym or work out 5 days a week, he'll get me my FAVORITE flowers every week. 3). WHEN I lose 50 pounds, I get cross country skis. 4). WHEN I lose 80 pounds, I get a shopping spree for a new wardrobe. 5). WHEN I beat him to losing 20 pounds first, I get the North Face jacket I've been salivating over (yes, one can salivate over non edible items). I know, I know, my hubby should be getting me flowers anyway, but he gets me other things, like ice cream and chocolate now, so I'd rather have the flowers!



I'm off to walk on the tread mill. The food changes are coming, slowly but surely, and I'm going to join Weight Watchers tomorrow. I want to be one of those inspirational stories on their website!

Once upon a time, a fat girl joined a gym....

The rest of the story is yet to be written.

The last time I wrote was ages ago. Nope, I'm no lower in weight, no smaller in clothing size, and no better an eater than I was in April. I AM, however, married now. Yup, my new husband decided he couldn't live without me, though more thick than thin, in sickness and in health, till death or an arguement over the last piece of cheesecake do us part! We got married in June. We had the wedding party "hike" to the nuptuals up our favorite hiking trail. Since we (he's no Adonis himself) are both out of shape, we didn't hike as far back as we would have liked to, and stopped at a bridge crossing Glacier Creek in Girdwood, AK, instead of hiking all the way back to Winner Creek Gorge Bridge. I didn't wear a dress, didn't have an armfull of flowers (I did have fiddlehead fern shoots, they were in bloom), no bridesmaids... it made it easier, but truth be told, I didn't want to try on dresses, so getting hitched in "true Alaskan form" on a hiking trail in a t-shirt, shorts and hiking boots was wonderful. And, I didn't have to lose a pound.

Back to the girl joining the gym tale. It should have started... Once upon a time, there was an unemployed girl who interviewed for a job with a great company and was offered a position. The girl took the position, not knowing at the time what wonderful benefits the magical company had. The supervisor of the girl's department added the delicious perk of fresh baked sweet rolls every day, and the coffee and cream flowed from a never ending pool. The Human Resource Genies, when they came to do the girl's orientation into the magical company expressed to the girl, who just happened to be very overweight, that the magical company would pay for a gym membership for the girl, and her entire family, if the girl would only go to the gym 12 times a month. The girl, they explained, could swim, utilize the cardiovascular machines like the stair stepper and the stationary bikes, lift weights, play racquetball, tennis or handball, participate in exercise classes... anything the gym offered and the girl partook in, the magical company would pay for. All the girl had to do was take in a punch card for the hunky Gym Fairy to punch with a special star paper punch. The girl, who really thought she would lose weight on her own during the summer riding her bike, hiking, taking her dogs for walks and getting outside in the Alaska sunshine, didn't take the magical company up on their offer. Months went by, and the girl waited and waited for the sun to show itself in Alaska. Then, one day, the girl's new husband said, "We didn't get outside at all this summer. Didn't your magical company say they would pay for your family gym membership if you go 12 times a month?" The girl couldn't avoid the gym then, especially when her new Prince was the one who drove the car and pulled into the gym.

Now, the girl has a family membership at a gym, her Prince wants to lift weights, and both of them want her magical company to pay for their gym membership. The girl will go to the gym 3 times a week, find group classes to attend, and hope that no one tries to harpoon her when she gets into the pool.

This is just the beginning, not the end. :)

The girl knows though, that she will never give up popcicles, no matter how healthy she gets.

Uhhhhhhh... I can't come up with any good excuses

Wow, no weight lost, my wedding occurring in less than 7 weeks, and I'm trying to come up with really good excuses as to why. Hmmmm still thinking... Nope, I've got nothin'.

The only good thing about getting married in Alaska is that doing "out of the ordinary" here is almost expected. So, we are hiking to our favorite spot above Girdwood, AK, and getting married on the bridge over Winner Creek. That means, no dress, no heels, no wedding veil, no tossing the bouquet, no stress over not making weight and trying to vaseline my way into a dress there's no chance in hell I'd fit into now. My wedding pics will be filled of me in my signature red Merrill hiking boots and baggy shorts, sporting my camelbak hydration pack.

Pics or no pics, dress or no dress, I've still got to lose the weight. It's getting in the way of me enjoying my summer, my future marriage, my life! I don't have the energy to fill my weekends with activity. I know my hiney sure won't fit in a kayak if we pull them out in the next 3 weeks, and I DO have to actually be capable of finishing the hike in order to get married! I know he's not going to be able to carry me across the threshhold... asking him to carry me up the mountain is totally out of the question.

ARGH... where are those magic pills on the infomercials? Why haven't I heard about them on the Discovery Health channel? Why hasn't the news been reporting on the miracle of the "take it off in a day with no effort" pill that magically and effortlessly makes one thin overnight just by taking it before bedtime? OH, I remember... cause it doesn't EXIST!

I know it's all about me and the effort I put in. So far, no good.

I could go on about how I'm going to do better, how I'm committed to change my eating habits... but I have a sticker that I've had since high school that says it all... "People may not believe what you say, but they'll always believe what you do." So, I'll keep my lips shut, and just write about my actions from now on, triumphiant and not so wonderful, and then my actions speak for me as to my determination and commitment, or lack thereof.

Tomorrow is another day... thank god for tomorrows.