Lazy, Lazy, Lazy

I found another website today about someone walking to lose weight. It's at JayBo Walking. He started a walk from South Carolina to California in June. BOY, do I feel lazy now. I haven't put in nearly the mileage that I wanted to. Oh, wait... I haven't put in ANY mileage that I wanted to. I keep blaming my lack of activity on life getting in the way... you know, life like going out with friends, hiking to pick berries, driving to Seward to enjoy the last few days of summer we have left here in Alaska. While I know there is nothing stopping me (but me) from going to bed early and getting up at the crack of dawn and hitting the gym, I haven't managed to drag my ass out of bed! I've been getting stomach aches lately from trying to suck my gut in so I don't look as heavy as I am. My mom always said it would work... mom was wrong!

To top off my humiliation and shame and guilt, I turn on the tele last night and catch "Biggest Loser, Have They Kept It Off." Two years ago, I lost 30 pounds. It found me. Being fat really sucks. I know I have no one to blame but myself. Time to (oh, wait, I've said this before about 100 times) do something about it. Even if I do something small, like quit eating all the junk food, it's a start.

I walked by that weight loss product Alli yesterday at Walmart. I'm half tempted to start taking it just to keep me from eating the food I know I shouldn't. I'm at that point. I'm more disgusted with myself and the way I look from my shoulders to my knees than I am disgusted at the thought of having to wear liners in my pants to avoid the possible side effects of Alli. BLECH, both are disgusting.

Thank god those tootsie roll minis are gone now. I'm so frustrated and upset, that if they were there, I'd be eating them to console me... even though I know I shouldn't!