I couldn't think of a pithy title for this post, so I'm not going to give it one. The last post mentioned Weight Watchers. Well, that plan, like most others I have had, fell by the wayside (or should I say weight side).

I was talking to a friend this afternoon about how tempted I am to go on Alli just so I have some kind of mysery and punishment if I don't eat right.

I'm disappointed in myself. I think it's that cycle of self loathing and self punishment that most heavy people go through occassionally. I'm disappointed enough with myself that I know I need to change all these habits I've got, but not down on myself enough yet to change them.

I found a great new magazine that I love called Clean Eating, and I've tried the recipes and like them. I'm not going to say I'm going to follow it with all my heart right now. I'm fed up with making promises that I can't keep for myself, let alone making promises that anyone with a computer can read! So, I'll just say that whatever I do, I'll put it here. Being accountable to strangers is better than being
accountable to myself, I guess. What I really need is to have someone drag me off to be on the Biggest Loser. The last thing I want is to stay heaving wearing those two piece workout suits they weigh the female participants in. Lord, I'd be so embarrassed about how I'd look in one of those I'd lose all the weight BEFORE I got to the first taping of the first episode.

More later.